Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
