Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
