My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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