a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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