I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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