Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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