she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
