I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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