Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
