Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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