One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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