That's intense
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
