I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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