from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
