if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
