you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We need to get me chipped asap
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize