I cockslap morals
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
