girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it because I queefed?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Sober January is a disaster.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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