I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
