It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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