hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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