saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
