the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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