I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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