Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
