none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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