he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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