your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
