Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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