I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
