A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
