he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
