come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
