shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
