that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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