it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
