I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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