a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
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I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
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New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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