mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
