What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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