It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
