just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
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You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
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I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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