Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
