I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
