Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
