He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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