just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
vagina is talking i cant
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
