his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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