awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off