I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.