Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You ate ashes out of my bong