I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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