Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
