You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
