i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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