called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
